1. |
I'll Be Fine
03:17
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I never fall in love
I fall in love all the time
I never fall in love
I fall in love all the time
I've got the rest of my life
I'm running out of time
I never fall in love
I fall in love all the time
I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright
I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I'll never kiss you again
I wanna kiss you all the time
I'll never kiss you again
I wanna kiss you 'til I die
I'm never by myself
I feel alone all the time
I got the rest of my life
I'm running out of time
I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright
I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I got the rest of my life
I'm not gonna waste my time
I got the rest of my life
I'm not gonna waste my time
I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright
I'll be fine
Yeah, I'll be fine
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2. |
I Came
03:39
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You called for my body
You called for my blood
And I came
Yeah, I came
You wanted somebody
You didn't have to love
But I came
Yeah, I came
You know I'll be there
And you don't even have to care
'Cuz I came
Yeah, I came
You threw me out back
Threw me out like trash
Back, I came
Yeah, I still came
You bruised me up good
You hardened up my wood
And I came
Yeah, I came
You can take what you want
And leave me to rot
'Cuz I came
Yeah, I came
Cats are in the kitchen, licking up their cream
You rang the doorbell and it started to steam
And I came
Yeah, I came
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3. |
Consent to Battery
03:22
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The heart wants, but the body is composed
Of a hotly thrumming bruise
I can't stop and I really should know better
But the white light never loses
Because we all know this is gonna hurt
This is gonna hurt
I just want your hands on me
(And I don't care what they do when they get there)
'Cuz if you touch me
You must love me just a little
Just enough to breathe
Just enough to burn
Just enough to bleed
My legs shake and they open and close
And nobody ever knows
What to say because you get it or you don't
Either you'll want me or you won't
But we all know this is gonna hurt
This is gonna hurt
I just want your hands on me
(And I don't care what they do when they get there)
'Cuz if you touch me
You must love me just a little
Just enough to breathe
Just enough to burn
Just enough to bleed
It's never enough
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4. |
Love Is Like This
04:46
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I don't want your hangups
I don't want your shame
I want you disheveled
I want you unrestrained
Don't wanna be a secret
Don't wanna be appropriate
Make me, break me, fix me
Take me
Kill me and make me new
Kill me and make me new
I will take your hunger
I will take your need
Touch me with your fingertips
Touch me and I'll bleed
Tired of being cautious
Tired of being nervous
Make me, break me, fix me
Take me
Kill me and make me new
Kill me and make me new
I don't want this body
I don't want this life
I just wanna be a pigment
In the grayest part at the center of your eyes
I need
I need
I need
Make me, break me, fix me
Take me
Kill me and make me new
Kill me and make me new
I don't want your hangups
I don't want your shame
I believe this is how we're supposed to play this game
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5. |
Daddy
02:36
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Daddy touch me like I'm gonna shatter
He knows how close to the surface I am
Daddy knows I have a hair-trigger
Keeps me exploding right into his hand
Daddy knows I can't take a lover
Lovers want me to be more than I am
Daddy's gonna make it all better
My daddy, he's a bad man
He doesn't
He doesn't make
He doesn't make me wait
He won't
He won't let
He won't let me break
My daddy's got needy fingers
My daddy's got an angry palm
Daddy knows I got something in there
And he'll help me get it out if I don't squirm
Daddy's angry when I'm naughty
Daddy's angry when I'm bad
Daddy says he's gonna make me better
He's the best daddy a babe could have
He doesn't
He doesn't make
He doesn't make me wait
He won't
He won't let
He won't let me break
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6. |
Ruined
04:06
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Kill me and eat the ashes and—
Oh My God I Am Not Joking,
I Am Never Joking When I Say It Hurts—make me
disappear. Make me anything else.
I Am Too Sensitive To Live And Too Stubborn To Die.
I Am Too Swollen To Live And Too Dense To Die.
I Am A Shard Of Glass. Don't Let Me Get In Your Eye.
I Am A Cancerous Mass, So Tell Me Goodbye.
I Am Never Getting Better.
There Is No Better For Me.
I'd do it if I had the nerve and
I Think That's Why I Love People
When I Believe They Could End Me In One Blow. Make me disappear. Make me a fond memory.
I Am Too Broken To Live And Too Useful To Die.
I Am Too Selfish To Live And Too Needy To Die.
I Am A Shard Of Glass. Don't Let Me Get In Your Eye.
I Am A Cancerous Mass, So Tell Me Goodbye.
I Could Be Anything And Still
I'd Be Ruined
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7. |
Do You Love Me Yet
03:45
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Do your feelings have an off switch?
Is your heart superfluous?
I wanna scream in your mouth
until you know what this drowning is
until you're with me inside of it
Do you love me now?
Do you love me yet?
Do you love?
Do I run too hot for you?
Afraid my chaos will swallow you?
Can you go home to your wife
and just forget me, too?
Is this that game that I always lose?
Do you love me now?
Do you love me yet?
Do you love?
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8. |
Bloodletting
04:08
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I fill my lines
with lies
I tell myself about myself
But these next few
are true
I am the kind
inside
that feels constricted in diamonds
but perfect and free
painted with a bruise
I'm into blood, I'm into bloodletting
I thought you should know, you should know what you're getting
If it's not real
I can't feel
I'm number than I ought to be
But my white light
shines bright
Your hand enclosed
on my throat
and your eyes locked on me
Feels like a fire
on a winter's night
I'm into blood, I'm into bloodletting
I thought you should know, you should know what you're getting
If you can't take me
You won't get me
If you can't take me
You won't get me at all
I'm into blood, I'm into bloodletting
(my light has no way out)
I thought you should know, you should know what you're getting
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9. |
Rich
03:38
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Why pull my heart out of the basement
when you'll hand it back as soon as I unwrap it?
“It's nice,” you say. It's bright and full,
but it's wet and heavy and your fingers will soil.
If you touch me too much
I'll never get enough
If you knock on this door
You'll get more than you bargained for
The strength of my love is too rich for your blood
Been asleep underground. Oh, dig up my cold grave
just to see what's inside and leave me wide awake.
If you touch me too much
I'll never get enough
If you knock on this door
I am more than you bargained for
I am more than you bargained for
The strength of my love is too rich for your blood
The strength of my love is too rich for your blood
I am more than you bargained for
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10. |
House of the Rising Sun
07:48
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Bee Kay Esq. Portland, Maine
Bee Kay Esq. is a US Senate candidate, attorney, & rad fat queer performance artist. Lies I Tell Myself About Myself, the debut album, moves through the darkest moment before the dawn in recovery from sexual violence. With producer/collaborator MrGadget, Bee Kay Esq. uses inhuman instruments to give voice to human vulnerability. It's for people who wanna rock out with their existential dread out. ... more
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